My first back injury happened on the job in 2017. A lot of people do not realize how physically demanding mail and package delivery is—day in and day out, it’s a cycle of bending, lifting, and squeezing into tight spaces. That kind of wear and tear adds up, especially when spanning across decades.

Brief History of Injury and Occupational Impact

From 2014 to 2015, I had a business on my route that required me to pick up hundreds of packages daily. I would back up to a dock and load each package into the mail truck. This process involved standing hunched over in a 4’6″ tall truck bed for 10–15 minutes at a time, both during loading and unloading. At 5’3”, this required sustained, awkward bending—marking the beginning of my chronic back pain. This strain was a key reason I transitioned off that route when the opportunity arose.

From 2015 onward, I was required to use a personally owned vehicle, which helped alleviate some of the pain, but the discomfort never fully resolved.

Initial Injury – 2017

In 2017, while sorting approximately 100 packages—a daily task requiring 20 minutes of bending into a hamper—I bent over to retrieve a package and felt a sharp pull in my back. The pain was immediate and severe, making it difficult to stand. An X-ray confirmed a lumbar sprain. I was advised to rest and avoid work until symptoms improved. I followed up with chiropractic care and pain medication, and eventually returned to work, though the pain persisted.

I resigned myself to the idea that chronic back pain was simply part of the job. I managed it with NSAIDs and regular chiropractic visits.

Reinjury & Degeneration – 2023

In 2023, I experienced a similar incident. An X-ray revealed the same lumbar sprain, now accompanied by a bone spur and signs of spinal degeneration. I continued conservative treatment, but the pain remained.

Compounding Injuries – 2020–2025

In 2024, I developed a slow-onset foot injury that was difficult to diagnose. By the time it was identified, natural healing was no longer an option, and surgery was required. Following the procedure, I aggravated my back again.

This led to a deeper realization: many of the issues I had experienced in my left hip, thigh, knee, and foot were likely connected to my unresolved back injury. These included:

– **2020** – Left hip sprain 

– **2020–2023** – Multiple varicose vein procedures (initially thought to explain leg pain) 

– **2022** – Left knee instability and severe weight-bearing pain 

– **2024–2025** – Left foot fracture and sesamoid bone removal

Of all these injuries, only my back had a clear, documented injury event.

Diagnostic Clarity – 2024-2025

After years of managing symptoms without a full picture, I finally pursued an MRI. It revealed a large disc extrusion pressing on the nerve root, causing spinal stenosis and radiculopathy down my left leg. This confirmed what I had suspected: my back injury was the root cause of a cascade of secondary issues.

My ongoing back injury has complicated recovery efforts for my foot. Physical therapy for the foot was disrupted, and then I underwent therapy for my back alongside a series of epidural injections. Meanwhile, my foot developed a secondary issue that interfered with the back therapy. This led to another foot surgery.

In the midst of all this, I’ve been experiencing escalating neuropathic pain—likely triggered by physical therapy—along with autonomic dysfunction and severe acid reflux.

This Week

Then last week, a new pain emerged: starting at the base of my neck and radiating across my left shoulder. Later that day, I felt sharp discomfort beneath my right shoulder blade and through the middle of my spine.

This new pain severely impacted my already limited ability to sleep. I typically rely on lying on my right hip, but with pain in my right shoulder and abdomen, even that wasn’t an option. I struggled through the night and didn’t fall asleep until around 8 a.m. When I woke up late-morning, the shoulder pain had eased, but my back felt like it had been re-injured—similar to previous aggravations. There was no clear trigger, but I suspect I may have contorted my body awkwardly while trying to sleep. The stiffness and pain makes even basic movements—sitting up, standing, walking—excruciating.

This pain persisted for several days, though thankfully, symptoms have begun to ease slightly.

Bringing it Together

I’m writing this not just to track my symptoms, but to highlight how injuries can evolve when we don’t fully understand their scope—and when early intervention is missed. Before my 2017 injury, I rarely sought medical care. My mother’s negative experiences with the healthcare system shaped my hesitation. I assumed that if I needed more treatment, doctors would tell me. Clearly, that assumption was wrong.

Despite years of back and leg issues, no provider connected the dots. And unfortunately, my novice mind took waaay too long to connect them myself. I always shared my medical history, but it wasn’t until 2024, during a visit with a vein specialist, that someone confirmed what I had suspected. After multiple procedures for varicose veins that I thought were causing my leg pain, I was told there was no vascular explanation. That was my “aha” moment.

I brought this up with my chiropractor—someone who had treated me for years. After repeated questioning, he finally agreed there was likely a connection. A month later, an MRI confirmed it: a lumbar disc extrusion pressing on a nerve root, causing stenosis and radiculopathy.

The stress of managing these injuries—while working a physically demanding job and navigating everyday life—is overwhelming. Add to that the emotional toll of ADHD, PTSD, and family dynamics, and it’s a miracle I’ve held onto any semblance of stability. That miracle is Jesus.

My journey is further complicated by echoes of my mother’s experience. Her path diverged from mine, but her suffering has shaped my awareness and resolve. Without that knowledge—and the fear of repeating her outcome—I might have given up long ago. But I see now how God has aligned events in my life with eternal purpose. Things could have been easier, but ease isn’t always what’s best for eternity.

My family needs prayer. My mom, who hasn’t spoken rationally in decades, and now with her physical health fading, needs clarity and salvation. We all carry wounds that only healing and humility before God can mend. We need prayer for restoration, for the resolution of old wounds, and for us to pick up our cross and follow Jesus. If we’re not doing that now, pray that He stirs our hearts to confess and return.

Our days are numbered. Some of us get a warning. Some don’t.

Coping Through Lyrics: *Snap Back*

The title of this reflection comes from a Twenty One Pilots song that resonates deeply with me. One line in particular hit me hard:

**“Running from a thing that I kicked in ’17.”**

I’d heard it countless times before the connection clicked. I remember the exact moment—driving home from Bible study last year, tears streaming down my face. My first back injury was in 2017, and I’ve been running from it ever since.

I already loved the song for its quirky video, where the singer wears a covering that resembles either a haircut smock or a hospital gown. That visual ties into the opening lyric, “I have a bad feeling that I’m about to break, it’s been a good streak, but the pressure’s overweight…”

We all have breaking points. I’ve been near mine more than once this past year.

Another lyric that spoke directly to my injury, but from the first listen, is the repeated one at the end:

**“I’ve been praying for my elasticity to go back to the way that it was…”**

That prayer is literal for me. I’ve been asking God to restore my back to its pre-2017 state.

Some might see my connection to this band as obsessive or even idolatrous. But my appreciation isn’t for the members—it’s for the message. The two band members wear masks much of the time to mitigate idolization, to keep the focus on the lyrics. Their music doesn’t contradict Scripture, even though sometimes a person may need to think and listen to their songs and albums in their entirety to see it.  I believe God uses artists like them to reach people like me.

Jesus is always relatable—He suffered more than we can imagine. And it’s also healing to find human voices that echo our pain. For someone like me, who’s lived through years of invalidation while desiring to not burden others, it’s vital to know we’re not alone.

I believe God uses us to influence others in ways we may never see. Twenty One Pilots didn’t write their lyrics for someone with a chronic back injury—but God used those words to speak directly to me. When lyrics feel like they were written just for us, and they align with Scripture, we can trust that God is behind it.

This might sound over the top to some. But to others, it won’t sound crazy at all. Either way, I’m not seeking approval—only alignment with Jesus. And if I’m wrong, I’ll respond to the Holy Spirit’s conviction.

This is just one small example of how lyrics help me heal.

Scripture

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Today’s reading was from John chapters 7 and 8.
The crowds were divided—some believed Jesus was the Messiah, while others accused Him of being a deceiver. In response, Jesus pointed to the practice of circumcision on the Sabbath, which was permitted if it fell on the eighth day after birth. He used this to challenge their criticism of His healing on the Sabbath, asking them to consider whether doing good should ever be condemned.

Despite having no formal religious training, Jesus amazed the people with His teaching. He boldly proclaimed, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink,” and later in chapter 8, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness.”

Jesus then confronted the Pharisees about their spiritual blindness and their refusal to recognize His divine origin. He made a direct claim to divinity when He said, “Before Abraham was, I AM.” This declaration enraged the crowd, and they attempted to stone Him—but He escaped.

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Can you imagine the weight Jesus carried in that moment?
Fully God and fully Man, He felt the heartbreak of rejection and the sorrow of stubborn hearts unwilling to believe. Their disbelief wasn’t just a disagreement—it was a danger to their souls. These were the very people He came to save. And He suffered for them, just as He suffered for you and me.

His sacrifice on the cross wasn’t just a historical event—it was a personal invitation. Through it, we are invited to identify with His suffering, to receive His grace, and to overcome death and eternal separation from our Savior.

Jesus understands pain. He knows suffering intimately. And because of that, we can trust that He sees us, hears us, and walks with us through every trial. His help may come in ways we expect—or in ways we never imagined. But it always comes.

This is why every life matters. Why your life matters. And why we must continue to trust the One who gave it to us.

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